Comments on: Domestic violence and macho culture

By: chrisn

chrisn — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 03:05:15 +0000

Yes but what about when a woman causes the abuse, she’s very bitchy and screams a lot and is out to pick a fight for no other reason than she like the drama – like the 1970s psychologists say woman are masochists. I think many woman are antagonists but this mentality may come as a defensive from the old traditions. But either way it is still wrong for man or woman to be agressive unreasonably.

What about the man who comes home from work and his wife starts yelling and screaming and breaking things. Does he yell at her to shut up, stop screaming? Or calmly ask whats wrong in the hope that will do something? And when she keeps screaming and name calling, what does he do? Does he beat her to keep her in line or just walk out, but what about the children? What do you do about the women who cause the problems by inventing imaginary problems? You cant be violent or abusive, that creates a real problem. Counselling can work but can be cheated. Some women are just out to get men and will make them into the bad person. That’s real domestic abuse from a woman. And a mans only response is to give back domestic abuse but that is what she wants and will cause real problems. So what should he do? Ignore her scream and give her some bedroom attention, or report it to the police or domestic abuse hotline and be asked what did he do to cause it?
Domestic violence probably comes from the man wanting to control his unruly wife. And in saying so there are two sides to the fence.

By: Onwe Friday

Onwe Friday — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 07:18:36 +0000

Yes, it is true that there is domestic violence against women in every society of the world , but we have to consider the degree and level of control. My tone here is that in the Western countries there are stipulated control as the law takes over events when it is to the extreme. But in Africa men are allowed with an unlimited power since the culture here is held to the extreme and over-rules other factors especially in the rural areas. The women of Africa should heavily be considered and rescued.

By: Joanna

Joanna — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:58:47 +0000

I agree with Elga, but depending where you live, I do not agree with Radha. There is power in numbers and when one man tries to take them all on, he will be silenced, put down, laughed at, called a fag etc. etc. After all our ‘tough’ men can be cruel. They’ll find a way to silence the one who speaks up. Now if a group of you stick together and speak up against violence against women like the feminist groups did, you might get somewhere, but you’d have to be awfully brave. I think more men are becoming ashamed but are afraid to say so because of their machou image. I think things have changed ever so slightly. I remember the day when it was joked about and men laughed together about slugging their wives. I believe violence against women and children should be taught in the schools and it should be mandatory and on the cirriculum.

By: Elga

Elga — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:43:20 +0000

Hi, i agree with both of you. But i think that awareness is necessary both on women and men. To change men’s behaviour by changing their view of things, moving from the traditional machis and hyerarchical system is definitely important. But i consider important to create awareness at all levels, by gender, age, roles….
All people must be ashamed by violence against women, nobody should accept, ignore, shut up.
All shoud be aware that they have to stand up in front of a violence.

By: Radha Patel

Radha Patel — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:42:15 +0000

Thank you for your participation.

How can any difference be made to change the traditional cultural beliefs that make it okay for men to abuse women? I understand that domestic violence happens in every country, but it only takes one man to stand up against domestic violence to make a difference in a community. If a man speaks up – even in a traditional culture – does that not help the cause? Then others may join him, no?