Very sound points. It is such a challenge to get this conversation to flourish where your suggestions can be seriously considered. I think this blogpost is a good avenue.

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This points are very well structured and suggestions are all good from my point of view. Why these things are so difficult to be put in practice???
Are there no enough fundings?
Is the political willingness missing?
Did some experimental programs including these points failed?
….?
Everything seems so logical but then it is so difficult to implement!!!

Funding and political will perhaps has never been an issue. The problem is tribal mindset which generates a sense of ownership of women among men and a acceptance of a dependent role among women. Although primitive, this mindset is prevalent in all developing and developed societies in varying degrees.

In more traditional societies where divorce and separation are considered stigma, this sense, hence vulnerability of women to domestic violence, is even stronger. In my view, therefore, reform has to start at home. Girls have to be empowered psychologically to say no to exploitation and violence. At the same time, efforts may be made at structural level to address the factors which increase the risk of violence such as economic and political dependence.

Other factors are also related.

Mr Imran Siddiqui you make a good statement about reform having to start at home, but i must question how will this happen when the women in that home have no power or control about the future of their children?

These four points are very important and pertinent to the problem, but it may, rather is not so simple to implement in the society where women empowerment and things attached with it, is considered a foreign conspiracy against religion and tradition, particularly this problem exist in the country I belong, and it is sometimes life threatening thing to do, so while discussing these points there should also be modality of implementation within a particular society.

I would like to make following points in reply to the queries made on my post:

• The real challenge is empowerment of women and their recognition as equal partners in all societies, developing and developed. We must not forget developed societies are not fully immune to discrimination.
• In every society, traditions have been used to block empowerment.
• Statistics would, nevertheless, indicate that the barrier of traditions could delay but it could not block the movement for empowerment, notwithstanding the pressure of specific groups to reverse reform process.
• What we need to do is to evolve good legal framework outlawing discrimination and violence.
• The challenge is how to implement these laws. There is no other way but to develop formal and informal monitoring and accountability mechanisms to ensure implementation.
• According to statistics collected by formal and informal sources, the number of reported cases of violence in my country has increased. This indicates that women are standing up for their rights despite family pressure or fear of revenge. Now it is the responsibility of the state to provide protection to those who are standing up. This takes us back to the question of laws and implementation of legal framework. In this context, legislators and national parliaments have a key role to play.
• Civil society representatives have the responsibility in every society to make women rights a prime issue during elections and try to send only those representatives to the Parliament whose past record validates their women-friendly claims. Secondly, they must serve as a watchdog on implementation of the existing laws.
• We must not forget that all bad things will not vanish in a day or two. We all will need to make persistent efforts to bring a positive change in attitudes and practices.

As regard the query of Helen Post, I would like to say that in my post I addressed the issue of acceptance of violence by women in male dominated societies, particularly those plagued by domestic violence.

I have seen mothers telling their daughters to go back to their abusive husbands since leaving their husbands would be against traditions. Similarly, sometimes mothers under some psychological pressures prefer sons for better food and education over their daughters. In many cases, these are not uneducated mothers but fairly educated and those who suffered discrimination during their childhood.
They may not have control over the future of their children. But they have the responsibility rather an imposed obligation to raise their children and offer un-paid care to their family, in almost all traditional societies. Their actions and training could play a central role in bringing about a change in the thinking patterns of girls and boys. They must be made aware of their responsibility to inculcate equality of sexes as a fundamental value in the character of their children. HOW do we make them aware of this? By using mass media, innovative counseling schemes, using opinion makers both religious and secular. There is no quick fix to bring about an attitudinal change.

I am a volunteer at a not-for-profit organization called SAFE in Hunterdon. This organization assists victims of domestic violence in Hunterdon County, New Jersey, USA. During volunteer training I was astonished to learn how prevelant domestic violence is within our affluent area.

In the USA there will be an event on December 13th called “Communities of Light”. At 5:00PM on that Sunday evening luminaries will be lit in communities across the county to raise awareness and symbolize hope for victims of domestic violence. I will be participating in this event along with members of my Rotary Club.

hello!

I am amazed to hear domestic Violence being aprt fo state like NJ, I thought it was mostly a destiny of the woemn of the under developed. Especially with the amount of security and legal help avaialable to the US citizens… its really hard to believe women still suffer these crimes.

It makes me then come to the conclusion… that domestic violence is not alone responsibility of man commiting it but also a responsibility of the woemn who bear it and donot raise their voices aganst it based on limitations of their own mind… Lovestruck women who find themselves dependant on their male counterparts for their lives and almost with no faith on themselves and God, they are the ones who suffer the most….

This psyche is not unusual to be a part of an educated women when it coems to what is being fed to their little minds during their growing up period from moms, teachers, and often asscoaites who they connect with… Its not a new thing for me to hear when my mom says to me… women are supposed to suffer, cuz they are women…. A weak dependant women who dodnot ebleive in her own rights and duties to safe guard herself against crimes gives this statement to ehr daughter in order to keep the legacy alive… why ? probably becasue for her its much more tougher for hrr to think her existence outside her family home (husbands home or parents home)

They i beleive dont have a concept of even a place they can call their home… where they can make their own rules.

Its stated in Quran taht a women who finds herslef being treated unjustly ahs a right to ask for leave from her husband. (divorce) and seek livelihod just like a male would… cuz eventually as per muslim faith god is the provider of not juts the mate , but living and life and everything….

So those who say religion supports their ill treatment of their women or women who beleive tehy are doing a favor suffering unnecessarily , they are only trying to get their means justified wrongly, Its is thus recommended to have these rights and knowledge imparted to women at the school level. making it a must.

For those girls who have never been to school… otehr ways need to be devised to help them know these truths abt their rights and selves

Thank you

Dear farida

I agree that no religion sanctions injustices and subjugation. But some of those who seek to interpret it tend to do. They are reinforced by certain tribal traditions which describe women as a commodity. Honour killing and practice of FMG are two most abominable manifestation of this traditional and tribal mentality.

In order for women to stand up, the society will need to build a supportive network i.e. laws which gurantee protection and strict enforcement of those laws. This is what we, women and men, must work to achieve.